#79 – Ask Questions Like Jesus

Welcome to season eight of Presently Engaged with Mandy Pallock. Here you’ll find short, friendly, Jesus-focused encouragement to live intentionally right where you are. And now for your host, Mandy Pallock. You know that I love a good question.

Asking questions and listening well can take every relationship you have deeper. In this season, we are diving deep into questions in Scripture because as we look to the Bible, we look to the very best source. We will then end the podcast with a Scripture reading anchoring us in the truth of God’s word before you go on with your day. This will give us the opportunity to center our minds on Jesus and our hearts on his word because lives will change as we engage with God’s word.

I wonder if you could help me with something. Would you consider texting this podcast right now to a friend or to someone that you’re mentoring? Listen in and then join me at PresentlyEngaged.com. I am so grateful for your time and glad that you are here because you friend are making a difference.

So I’m here with a question right out of the gate. Are you one of those people who reads the forward of a book or the introduction or the afterward or the epilogue? I am a bit nerdy, you probably know, so I tend to read the introduction and the forward and the epilogue. And one of my favorite books, sections to read now is actually the gratitude section.

I love seeing the many, many voices that have gone into the creation of a book and an author who will appreciate and express gratitude to those voices. And another area of a book that I never skip is the dedication. It’s right there at the beginning, before or after the title page, and it’s often a sweet heartfelt statement directly to a person or persons that this book is dedicated to or inspired by. And so when I went to write my dedication for the question habit, after pondering, I wrote the dedication like this.

For dad, the one who taught me that questions are worth asking. For Peter, my love, the one who taught me that questions can be safe. For Caleb, Ethan, and Abby, the ones who taught me that questions can be fun. And through that process, I really discovered, as I got to know Peter, as I got to know him as a human, as a person, and then fell in love with him, that he wanted to know what I thought that he really wanted to get to know me.

And that was why he was asking questions. He was the one who really taught me that questions can be safe. And we observe how a great question asker draws someone else out. And as we’ve been looking at questions in the Bible this season, and specifically how Jesus asks questions here in this episode, we’re going to realize that that’s what Jesus does.

Jesus models this perfectly. He asked not to show off his knowledge, but to draw others deeper. It’s consistent with who God is throughout Scripture. That’s exactly what Jesus did throughout his entire ministry.

He asked questions not to trap people or to show them how smart he was, but to invite them closer to help them see truth and to draw out what was already stirring in their hearts. Depending on which version you look at and how you count this up, Jesus asked 288 questions recorded in the four gospels. 288. That’s more than any other figure in Scripture. And here’s what’s remarkable.

Not a single one of those questions was a trap. Not a single one was designed to embarrass or ensnare. Every single question Jesus asked was an invitation. His questions reveal three, at least three more than this, but we’re going to camp at three beautiful qualities.

A learner’s mind. Jesus, God in the flesh. Jesus sat amongst teachers and asked questions, asked to understand. Revealed a shepherd’s heart.

He guided the lost, the confused, the seeking, the rejecting toward truth with tenderness, with directness, but never with a condemning force. It revealed a teacher’s wisdom. Jesus employed questions to unlock deeper faith in his followers. And before we look at specific examples of Jesus’s questions, I want to pause and ask you something really personal.

When you are reading Scripture and you come to words that Jesus says, what tone of voice do you hear internally when you read his words in the Bible? I’ve noticed that sometimes when I’m listening to audio versions of Scripture, certain narrators sound grumpy or even a bit judgmental. And it struck me one day, I was reading Jesus’s words with that same judgmental tone in my head. But friend, that’s not who Jesus is.

Scripture tells us who Jesus is. Romans 8 1 tells us clearly there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Jesus is gentle and lowly in heart. He is quiet, kind and faithful.

He’s patient. He’s direct and fearless when truth requires it. But his voice is never bitter or enraged or irritable. And so when you hear Jesus ask, for example, in John 5 6, do you want to be healed?

Or Matthew 20 32, where he says, what do you want me to do for you? Hear those questions with his voice, gentle, patient, compassionate, inviting. What do you want me to do for you? Or what do you want me to do for you?

Or do you want to be healed? Or do you want to be healed? Think through, how do you hear the voice of Jesus when you read his words, when you look at his questions, when you read his questions? We become like what we worship.

As you spend your time with Jesus, as you listen to his questions, let your own voice reflect his heart, his heart that is gentle, kind, patient and humble. So today, we’re going to look at some of Jesus’s questions in the Bible and discover how we can use them in our own relationships, drawing others in without judgment, infighting reflection without pressure, and sending out commissioning, questioning with compassion. So let’s dive in. I want to show you two moments in Jesus’s life that reveal how he used questions to teach, to engage and to transform.

So this first moment happens when Jesus is just 12 years old. So let’s read Luke 2 verses 46 through 47. After three days, they, his parents found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.

So picture this scene. Jesus’s parents have just spent three frantic days searching for him. They lost Jesus, the Son of God, and then they finally found him in the temple courts, not causing trouble, not showing off, but sitting among the religious teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. This is the word made flesh, the Son of God, the one who came to earth to redeem and restore humanity.

And what is he doing? He’s not pontificating. He’s not posturing. He’s not rambling or raging.

Instead, he is simply listening and asking questions. And the teachers were amazed not just by his answers, but by his understanding, which came through shown through his questions. So we can see that even as a boy, Jesus showed curiosity. He asked questions to learn, to clarify, to engage.

And if Jesus, the Son of God, who knows all things, positioned himself as a learner and asked questions, how much more should we questions anchor us in humility, the signal that we’re open, that we’re curious, that we don’t have it figured out, that there’s things that we don’t know, we don’t know. So curiosity isn’t weakness. It is a spiritual gift. Now let’s fast forward to Jesus’s adult ministry.

In Matthew 16, Jesus and his disciples are in the region of Caesarea Philippi. Jesus asks them two pivotal questions. Let’s read verses 13 through 16 of Matthew 16. When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, who do people say the Son of Man is?

They replied, some say John the Baptist, others say Eli John, still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets. But what about you? He asked, who do you say I am? Simon Peter answered, you are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.

Jesus replied, blessed are you, Simon, Son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter. And on this rock, I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. It’s fascinating to me, I read a bit more, but it’s fascinating to me here that questions opened up a conversation.

And then Jesus went on to express identity. So questions lead us to those identity discoveries and identity communications that we are sharing with those that we love. But notice Jesus’ strategy. He asks two questions and they build on each other.

First, who do people say the Son of Man is? It’s a safe question. It’s general. It invites the disciples to share what they’ve heard, crowdsourced theology, if you will.

There’s no pressure and no risk. Who do people say? But then Jesus pivots. He says, what about you?

Who do you say I am? This second question is personal. It’s heart level. It requires ownership.

And then Jesus does something beautiful. He waits. We see him patiently waiting for Peter’s response. And Peter declares one of the most important confessions in all of scripture.

You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God. Throughout his ministry, when Jesus asked his disciples, his antagonists and hurting people questions, he patiently waited for their responses. He gave them time to think, to process, to discover truth for themselves and to verbalize it back to him. He didn’t lecture.

He invited a confession and he used questions to engage people and encourage them to think more deeply about what and whom they believed. And that question became the foundation of the church. So questions turn a message into a relationship and they move people from observers to participants. That is a beautiful thing to learn from Jesus.

Throughout his ministry, Jesus’s questions served core purposes and different ones. They give us a model. There are three that we’re going to look at. Three give us a model we can follow in our own conversations.

So I see that Jesus’s questions inspired engagement. The first purpose of Jesus’s questions we could look at was to engage people, to draw them into conversation, to invite them to participate. Look again at Matthew 1615. After asking what others say, Jesus turns to his disciples and asks, what do you, who do you say I am?

That question demands, invites engagement. It shifts the conversation from theory to reality. And it says, I’m not just asking you what you’ve heard. I’m asking what you believe.

So that engagement, those engagement questions build bridges. They signal respect. They say, your thoughts matter. Your perspective is valuable.

When we ask someone, what do you think? Or how does that sit with you? Or what’s your thought on that? We’re doing what Jesus did.

We’re inviting ownership. We’re, we’re, we’re issuing monologue and transitioning to dialogue. And we’re showing that those questions can be safe. When people feel invited, not interrogated, they open up, they lean in, they engage.

If they don’t, it’s okay, we’re going to come back another day with another open-ended heartfelt question, but it’s an opportunity to engage. Another thing that Jesus is doing here with his questions is inviting reflection to help people name what they’re feeling and to turn that emotion toward faith to, to, to look at that. In Mark four, Jesus and his disciples are crossing the Sea of Galilee when a fierce storm threatens to swamp their boat. The disciples panic, Jesus is asleep.

Finally, they wake him up. They’re terrified that they’re about to drown. And Jesus wakes up, rebukes the wind and the waves and the sea becomes perfectly calm. And then he turns to his disciples and he asks a question.

He says, why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith? Notice what Jesus is doing. He’s not shaming them.

He’s helping them reflect. He’s naming their fear, identifying it, and then inviting them to examine it in light of who he is. Why are you afraid? What do you believe about me?

Do you trust that I’m with you? These follow up questions come to mind. Reflection questions, they probe beneath the surface. They help us become aware of what’s stirring in our hearts, that fear, that hope, that faith, and then they can gently redirect those emotions toward truth.

When we ask, Hey, what are you feeling right now? Or why does this situation concern you? Or can you tell me more about that right now? I hear you expressing this.

Can you tell me more? We’re creating space for someone to process, to name what they’re seeing or what’s happening inside of them, and often to discover a new perspective. Reflection questions don’t demand immediate answers. They invite people to pause, to think, to identify, and to grow.

So engagement, reflection, and commission. Another purpose of Jesus’s questions was to commission, to affirm identity and to give calling. After his resurrection, Jesus meets Peter by the Sea of Galilee, and Peter, who denied Jesus three times, is back to fishing. Jesus restores him with three questions.

In John 21, verses 15 through 17, Jesus asks Peter three times, Simon, son of John, do you love me? After each question, Jesus commissions Peter, feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep. Three denials, three questions, three affirmations. Those questions aren’t punishment.

They’re not shame. They’re restoration. Jesus is saying, communicating, Peter, I know what you did. I know where you stumbled, but I still have a calling on your life, a commissioning.

I still trust you with my people. Do you love me? Then feed my sheep. I’m sharing them with you, and I’m inviting you into that calling.

Commissioning questions empower. They affirm identity. They give responsibility. When you ask someone, hey, will you join me in this?

Do you feel called to lead here? What does this look like? Will you jump in on this? Would you consider if this lines up to calling God is giving you?

We’re saying, I see something in you. I believe in you. I’m inviting you to step into who God made you to be. So those life purpose questions, hey, what does this look like for you to live it out?

What might that look like in your life? Those invite someone to step into their calling. And to their identity, or even just to think about it for a little bit. Jesus’s questions were always generous.

They drove deeper understanding without judgment. They invited people to discover truth for themselves rather than having it forced upon them. A simple question mark can do so much. And so when we ask questions the way Jesus did, we do it with a learner’s mind and with a shepherd’s heart.

So how do we take what Jesus modeled and put it into practice in our own lives? Let me give you two question starters that you can borrow from Jesus’s toolkit. Here’s one. What do you think?

This is an engagement question. It’s simple. It’s open-ended. It’s deeply respectful.

Who do you say that I am? What do you think? When you ask, what do you think? You’re signaling that the other person’s perspective matters.

You’re shifting from monologue to dialogue. You’re inviting them to participate. You’re actually listening to them, listening to understand, listening to engage. So try this question at the dinner table with your family or in a small group or during a mentoring conversation.

What do you think? Lean in, hear, smile at them, communicate that they are valued and their perspective is valued. So here’s another question. Why do you say that?

Why do you say that? It’s a reflection question. It’s a second level question that encourages deeper thinking. So when someone shares an opinion or a concern or a belief, a follow-up question can gently invite them to explore why.

It moves past, moves the conversation from surface answers to heart beliefs and it’s non-threatening when you ask it in a gentle, curious tone of voice. You’re not challenging them. You’re saying, I want to understand you better. Tell me more.

And this goes back to that importance of a tone of voice because, I mean, doesn’t this communicate something completely different? Option one, why would you say that? Man, that’s going to shut down a conversation. Or, hey, why would you say that?

Where does that idea come from? How did you come to that perspective or belief or opinion? We’re inviting them to unpack that perspective and we’re inviting others to discover truth not because you told them, but because they’ve uncovered it themselves. So practice these two openers.

Pick a conversation, maybe over coffee, maybe on a walk, maybe during bedtime with your kids and intentionally ask those questions. Hey, what do you think? And then, why would you say that? What does that look like when you apply it into your own life?

Pay attention. Notice how the conversation shifts. Notice how people respond when they’re invited rather than interrogated. You may be amazed at what happens when you ask questions the way Jesus did.

Let me tell you about one more moment from Jesus’ ministry. In Matthew 20, two blind men were sitting by the roadside and when they heard that Jesus was passing by, they cried out boldly in a loud voice, Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us. And the crowd tells them to be quiet and they shush him, but those two men shouted even louder. And Jesus stopped and he talked to them.

And here’s what I love. Jesus knew their problem. He didn’t rush to solve their problem. He didn’t put words in their mouths or assume he knew what they needed.

Instead, he asks them a question, what do you want me to do for you? He waited for their sincere reply and only after they said, Lord, let our eyes be opened. Did Jesus in compassion touch their eyes and give them healing? Friend, we have so much to learn from the way Jesus asked questions, don’t we?

His questions gave people the opportunity to think about their faith, to think about how they were living it out, how they saw others living it out. His questions revealed truth and encouraged deeper understanding and provoked thought. It provokes a thought as I think about questions more as far as what questions became after Jesus’ time on earth. Throughout history, the church has used questions as a vehicle for communicating truth.

Questions are catechism. They give us the opportunity to define and discuss and teach what’s most important. What is the chief end of man? What is God?

What is sin? What is faith in Jesus Christ? We have this beautiful heritage of asking questions and it ignites a holy inquiry into discovering more about Jesus Christ and who God is. You and I join this heritage by asking deep, thoughtful, open-ended questions, questions that invite, questions that reflect, questions that commission.

So let’s ask, hey, which of Jesus’ questions speaks the most to you right now? Maybe it’s who do you say that I am and you need to settle that question in your own heart. Maybe it’s why are you so afraid? And Jesus is gently inviting you to examine the fear that’s been gripping you or holding you back, maybe keeping you in fear from asking those questions or pushing through to a conversation or inviting dialogue.

Why are you so afraid? Or maybe it’s do you love me? And Jesus is calling you back, restoring you, commissioning you again after a season of stumbling. Or maybe it’s what do you want me to do for you?

And he’s inviting you to name your deepest need before him. Imagine Jesus looking at you and asking, what do you want me to do for you? And he’s inviting you to name your deepest need before him. We’ve spent this entire season looking at questions and scripture.

We have one more episode left. We’ve seen how questions matter, how to read the Bible with a questioning heart, how Satan used questions to introduce doubt, how God used questions to restore relationship. We’ve listened to Elijah and David and Jonah and Habakkuk wrestle with their hardest questions before God. And now we close with Jesus, the master questioner who perfectly embodies everything we’ve learned.

Jesus’s questions never trap. They liberate, they invite, they transform, and from Genesis to the Gospels, questions are God’s invitation into relationship, not interrogation, not trivia, not editing, not examination, but invitation. So as you go into this week, I want to invite you to pray this simple prayer. Lord Jesus, teach me to question like you.

Give me a question, askers heart to invite rather than entrap, to reflect rather than condemn and to commission rather than withdraw. Give me a learner’s mind and a shepherd’s heart. Amen. While working on a writing project this summer, I fell in love with George McDonald all over again.

You might know him as the 1800s writer who wrote The Princess and the Goblin or Fantasties, that book that first opened C.S. Lewis’s imagination to faith and truth. But reading multiple biographies this summer reminded me McDonald wrote prolifically and many of his books remain hard to find or hard to read. And so I took a happy side quest after months of updating the text and collaborating with a phenomenal artist and writing an afterward.

I am delighted to share the gifts of the child Christ with you. It’s the story of Sweetfosie, who’s ignored by her father and stepmother. She desperately craves love and it’s the story of a father who must learn that God is his father before he can father a little soul. And it’s the story of an innocent misinterpretation of an advent sermon leading to a Christmas morning surprise.

It was first published in 1882 and the gifts of the child Christ, it stands as one of McDonald’s most moving Christmas stories. This Victorian tale that speaks timelessly to love and loss and grace. So if you’re looking for a cozy family read or a thoughtful gift for ages 10 through 100, this might be just right for you. And you can find it in print, hardcover, paperback, ebook, and audio.

Thanks for celebrating with me, friends. To close, we’ll center ourselves again in God’s Word. In John 21, we witnessed Jesus restoring Peter with his three-fold question, do you love me? It’s one of the most tender commissioning moments in all of Scripture.

So let’s listen together. What a delight it is to enjoy God’s Word together with you at the end of every episode. So John 21, this is the Word of the Lord. Afterward, Jesus appeared again to his disciples by the Sea of Galilee.

It happened this way. Simon Peter, Thomas, also known as Didymus, Nathaniel from Canaan in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. I’m going out to fish, Simon Peter told them, and they said, we’ll go with you. So they went out and got into the boat.

But that night, they caught nothing. Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, friends, haven’t you any fish? No, they answered.

He said, throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some. When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, it is the Lord. As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, it is the Lord, he wrapped his outer garment around him for he had taken it off and jumped into the water.

The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it and some bread. Jesus said to them, bring some of the fish you have just caught. So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore.

It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, come and have breakfast. None of the disciples dared ask him, who are you? They knew it was the Lord.

Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? Yes, Lord, he said, you know that I love you.

Jesus said, feed my lambs. Again, Jesus said, Simon, son of John, do you love me? He answered, yes, Lord, you know that I love you. Jesus said, take care of my sheep.

The third time he said to him, Simon, son of John, do you love me? Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, do you love me? He said, Lord, you know all things, you know that I love you. Jesus said, feed my sheep.

Very truly, I tell you when you were younger, you dressed yourself and went where you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go. Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, follow me. Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them.

This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and said, Lord, who is going to betray you? When Peter saw him, he asked, Lord, what about him? Jesus answered, if I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.

Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die, but Jesus did not say that he would not die. He only said, if I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written. God’s word is for you, friend. Can you imagine not being able to read it or listen to it in your own heart language, the language that you think in, dream in, and speak in?

Biblika is a global ministry innovating new ways to reach people with the Bible. My husband, Peter, and I have supported their work for almost 10 years, and we’d like to invite you to join us. Biblika’s mission is to end gospel poverty wherever it is found. So as your heart was blessed by today’s reading of God’s word, please visit biblika.com to support translating and distributing the Bible in someone else’s heart language.

God’s word and people are the two things from this world we take into eternity. Together, we can provide the Bible in accurate contemporary translations and formats so that Bible-less people experience the word of God in a language they understand. $2 delivers a Bible to a waiting community. How might God include your family in translating God’s word, delivering Bibles to frontline churches, and sharing the love of Jesus? Send truth, hope, and God’s word at biblika.com.

And now, as we conclude, a blessing for you from Romans 15, 13 through 14. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. I myself am convinced, my brothers and sisters, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge and competence to instruct one another.