#71 – Why Questions Matter

Welcome to season eight of Presently Engaged with Mandy Pallock. Here you’ll find short, friendly, Jesus-focused encouragement to live intentionally right where you are. And now for your host, Mandy Pallock. You know that I love a good question.

Asking questions and listening well can take every relationship you have deeper. In this season, we are diving deep into questions in Scripture. Because as we look to the Bible, we look to the very best source. We will then end the podcast with a Scripture reading anchoring us in the truth of God’s Word before you go on with your day.

This will give us the opportunity to center our minds on Jesus and our hearts on his Word, because lives will change as we engage with God’s Word. I wonder if you could help me with something. Would you consider texting this podcast right now to a friend or to someone that you’re mentoring? Listen in and then join me at PresentlyEngaged.com.

I am so grateful for your time and glad that you are here because you friend are making a difference. Welcome to episode one of season eight of Presently Engaged with Mandy Pallock. I’m so thrilled you’re here. We begin this season with a foundational question.

Why questions? Why do they matter? Why do they make such a difference in how we live, relate, and grow? I want to start by inviting you to picture something a bit unexpected.

Picture your Bible, but not the words this time. Picture the punctuation. How many question marks are in the Bible? This took an email to the Good People of Biblica, the publisher of the NIV Bible to verify.

There are 3251 question marks. That’s over 1400 more question marks than exclamation points in that version of the Bible. In the King James version, there are 3297 questions compared to 308 exclamation points. And those figures do not include inquisitive statements that do not include a question mark.

And so it seems that the writers of Scripture and the Holy Spirit were more inclined to inquire than to exclaim. And that tells us something important. The Word of God is not a shouting match. It’s not simply a list of commands or an archive of declarations.

It’s a divine conversation, a holy pursuit, a gentle curiosity that draws us in, invites us to engage, and invites us to respond. Questions don’t shout, they invite. The questions of Scripture invite us to step forward, to open up, to reflect. They create space for learning and loving and understanding.

And in a world that’s quick to declare opinions and form judgments and rush past nuance, questions force us to slow down, to get curious, and to listen well. And isn’t that exactly what Jesus modeled? He often responded to questions with questions. According to my friend Dr.

Jeff Myers, Jesus asked 288 questions in the Gospels. God made you and He made me to be curious. Asking a question with an inquisitive heart and open mind offers the dignity of discovery. I tell this story in my book, The Question Habit, but it’s worth retelling here.

We had this big red van when I was growing up. It was a Dodge Ram 12 passenger that carried my family of nine everywhere we needed to go. And we called it the giant red tomato. Now picture it with me.

Rows and rows of benches, kids piled in, backpacks, books, snacks everywhere. I had a favorite spot. Back row, left side, tucked away. And from there, I could disappear.

I could open a book or daydream or just watch the world blur by outside the window. And here’s why I loved it. Sitting way back there kept me safe, especially safe from questions. Because the bench directly behind the driver’s seat, we called those the talking seats.

And you knew what you were signing up for if you plopped yourself right down there. It wasn’t just a seat, it was a spotlight because whoever sat in those seats became part of the adult conversation. That’s where you would hear the day’s news and the family decisions, the what’s next on the schedule and brace yourself. That is also where the questions came.

Questions like, tell me about your day. What do you think about this? And how did that make you feel? And here’s the honest truth.

I didn’t like being asked questions as a kid. They made me uncomfortable. I was shy. I was insecure.

And deep down, I wondered if I gave the wrong answer, if my answer wasn’t what someone hoped for, or it wasn’t impressive enough, would that mean that they didn’t like the answer? Would that mean they didn’t like me? So I stayed in the back. I stayed quiet.

I stayed hidden. And if I could go back and talk to my eight-year-old self or my 12-year-old self or even my 17-year-old self, I’d whisper something that I didn’t know then. I’d say it’s okay. It’s okay for questions to be hard.

And I’d say that right here with you right now. It’s okay for questions to feel hard. It’s okay to wrestle with answers. It’s okay to have different answers at different times.

And that’s part of growing. That’s part of learning. And here’s the beautiful part. Questions are one of the very best ways to grow closer to the people who loved you, to the people who love you.

Because being asked a question means someone wants to know you, and being known as one of the most secure, most grounding experiences in the world. Now, my dad in particular, he was not about to let one of his kids fade quietly into the background, at least not if he could help it. He was tenacious about connection. And so even when I thought I was safely tucked away in the back left seat, dad would call me forward and invite me into one of those talking seats.

Even on short drives, dad used those car rides as connection time. He asked about my life, my thoughts, my dreams. He wasn’t satisfied with surface level answers either. He wanted me to feel known and heard.

Even on short drives, dad used those car rides as connection time. He asked about my life, my thoughts, my dreams. He wasn’t satisfied with surface level answers either. He wanted me to feel known and heard.

And at first that made me squirm. But over time, I discovered something sneakily awesome. If I asked the questions first, then someone else did the talking. I could redirect the spotlight.

And for a shy, self-conscious kid that felt like a lifeline. So I started experimenting. I’d think of questions ahead of time, saving them up like conversation currency. And then when dad or mom or someone else pulled me into a talking seat, I’d catch them in.

So how was your trip? Dad was a commercial pilot. What did you like most about that city? What was your favorite trip as a kid?

But here’s the interesting thing. What started as a defense mechanism, my way to avoid talking about myself, it became a gift. Because asking questions not only gave me confidence, it helped me see other people more clearly. I began to notice how much people lit up when someone genuinely wanted to know them.

I realized that questions could take a conversation deeper, could move it past small talk, and could open doors of trust and honesty. And then I got tired of seeing people struggle, struggle with taking those relationships deeper, with getting past icebreakers, with maximizing the moments around a dinner table, and around and in a car. And that’s why I’m here right now. All the while, my dad kept at it patiently, kindly, consistently.

He kept asking me questions. And slowly my own answers started to solidify. I found myself saying what I believed or what I thought I believed, what I wondered about, and even what I didn’t know yet. I practiced putting my thoughts into words in the safety of that van and those conversations.

That did not happen overnight. It was not a perfect painless process. And honestly, it wasn’t until adulthood that I felt fully secure in my voice. But those seeds were planted in the talking seats.

Those seeds of curiosity, and confidence, and connection. And friend, I want you to hear this. That is the power of questions. They don’t just pull information out of you.

They help you become yourself. They shape who you are. They anchor you in relationships of trust. Those relationships that you most value with those people that you love.

That old red van taught me something that I carried to this day. Conversations framed by questions can change your life. So let me ask you, where are the talking seats in your life right now? Where are the places, who are the people who pull you into deeper connection with a question?

And maybe even more important, who is in your life, sitting in the back row, waiting to be invited forward? What if the key to guiding young people or strengthening your marriage, friendships, and family wasn’t about having all the answers, but learning to ask the right questions? I’m Mandy Pollack, and I recently hosted a streaming conversation series with 15 Jesus-loving visionaries about what it looks like to build resilient relationships with the people you love the most. You’ll hear from voices like Dr.

Jeff Meyers, president of Summit Ministries, Erin Davis, and Lori Ferguson-Wilbert award-winning writers and teachers, Dr. Jonathan Rogers, storyteller and author, and Phil Lawler, co-creator of Ventures and Odyssey, and many more. And the feedback has been powerful. The talks were motivating and practical.

One person said it made me think intentionally. Someone else told me that talk encouraged me and the things God is calling me to do. One participant shared, I love how focused the talks were on my relationship with God, before focusing on building relationships with others. Friend, these conversations are free to watch, and they’ll encourage you to invest deeply in the relationships that matter most.

So you can find the replay today at curiousconversations.org. That’s curiousconversations.org. And now, back to questions in scripture. This season, we will be ending every episode with a reading from scripture.

So today, let’s read Matthew 11 together. Keep an ear out for the questions you hear. I count eight from Jesus and one from someone else just in this passage. This is the word of the Lord.

After Jesus had finished instructing his 12 disciples, he went on from there to teach and preach in the towns of Galilee. When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to ask him, are you the one who has to come or should we expect someone else? Jesus replied, go back and report to John what you hear and see. The blind receive sight.

The lame walk. Those who have leprosy are cleansed. The deaf hear. The dead are raised.

And the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me. As John’s disciples were leaving, Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John. What did you go out into the wilderness to see?

A reed swayed by the wind? If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in king’s palaces.

Then what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. This is the one about whom it is written, I will send my messenger ahead of you who will prepare the way before you.

Truly, I tell you, among those born of women, there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist. Yet whoever is leased in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been subjected to violence and violent people have been raiding it. For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John, and if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come.

Whoever has ears, let them hear. To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others. We played the pipe for you and you did not dance.

We sang a dirge and you did not mourn. For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say he has a demon. The son of man came eating and drinking, and they say here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners. But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.

Then Jesus began to denounce the towns in which most of his miracles had been performed because they did not repent. Woe to you, Corisin, woe to you, Bethsaida. For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you.

And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted to the heavens? No, you will go down to Hades. For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you.

At that time, Jesus said, I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. All the, all things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son, and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. God’s word is for you, friend.

Can you imagine not being able to read it or listen to it in your own heart language, the language that you think in, dream in, and speak in? Biblical is a global ministry, innovating new ways to reach people with the Bible. My husband, Peter, and I have supported their work for almost 10 years, and we’d like to invite you to join us. Biblical’s mission is to end gospel poverty wherever it is found.

So as your heart was blessed by today’s reading of God’s word, please visit Biblical.com to support translating and distributing the Bible in someone else’s heart language. God’s word and people are the two things from this world we take into eternity. Together, we can provide the Bible in accurate, contemporary translations and formats, so that Bible-less people experience the word of God in a language they understand. Two dollars delivers a Bible to a waiting community.

How might God include your family in translating God’s word, delivering Bibles to frontline churches, and sharing the love of Jesus? Send truth, hope, and God’s word at Biblical.com. And now, as we conclude, a blessing for you from 1 Corinthians 1, 4-9. May you live in the reality and truth of his grace given to you in Christ Jesus, for in him you have been enriched in every way with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge.

Therefore, you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. Our faithful God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ, our Lord, promises to keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.